Birthday Roundup - The 5 biggest lessons learned this year

My birthday is in a few days and I've always been weird about my birthday….

Where I normally thrive with attention,  I prickle against it when it comes to my birthday. 

Something about the attention placed on making sure I have a great day has always made me uncomfortable (as a kid I used to cry on Christmas, you should have seen me on my wedding day) - it’s weird. Does anyone else feel this way?

Another thing that I struggled with on my birthday was feeling like I hadn’t accomplished enough. As a chronic go-getter, New Year's Eve and my birthday always make me feel like I should be pressuring myself for...more or something. 

Here is the thing about both of those feelings: If you look at them from a bigger perspective they are really not problems at all. 1: I’m so lucky to have people in my life that want to celebrate me and care to make sure I have a good day. 2 Growth and achievements are all in the eye of the beholder - so the more you respect yourself - the more you feel like you have accomplished.

In the spirit of embracing “the big picture” this year I’ve been reflecting a lot. 

Below I’m sharing the top five lessons I’ve learned this year.

1. You teach others how they should treat you- I used to think that pushing myself to the point of exhaustion or being overly hard on myself would draw out respect from others. Not true- the harder you push yourself, put yourself down, and wear yourself out, the harder others will do the same. 

• Don't wait to relax - I noticed this year that I was GO GO GO as a coach and a mom from the minute I woke up to the second I closed the door to put Bailey to bed. The result? I ended up spending my day subconsciously looking forward to the minute I put my kids to bed. I know this is a really common feeling with parents….but it's not really the way I want to be as a mom. These days I try to make sure I take a 15-minute breather in the middle of the day to slow down and relax. It feels so strange to do something for ME at 2 PM on a Tuesday - and it feels really good.
  
  
• Walking away from major pieces of your identity is scary as hell, but it always leads to huge positive change.

-When I was seven I made the really hard decision to tell my parents I only wanted to live with my mom. 

-When I was in college I broke up with something I dated for over six years and (until about an hour before I broke up with him ) truly believed I thought I was going to marry. 

-In 2019 I left my career in advertising (something I had planned on doing forever since I was about 19) and went back to school for something completely different.

These were three of the freaking scariest decisions of my life. Each of them left me deeply questioning myself and feeling naked without “a plan.” They also quickly paved the way for the best things (hey kent!) to come into my life.

• Too much routine and I go nuts / too little and I also go nuts.

We may all of learned this in 2020. 

5. Opening up about my struggles or weaknesses with a girlfriend - really helps. 

I’ve always had a lot of really close friends - but have kept a few areas of my life private. It’s funny - it’s easy for me to put myself down in my own head, but expressing things I deem as faults or struggles is really hard for me. 

This year I became a lot more open with a few girlfriends and man does it help.