Beaus Birth Story

Monday Is Beau Breards second birthday.

In honor of that, I wanted to share a timeline of how he got here, in hopes that it will give anyone who has been through a complicated pregnancy, c-section, or postpartum experience some hope.

Sept 23rd 2019

I had a PGD tested embroyo transfered. This was exactly one month after having a chemical pregnancy from a previous PGF tested frozen cycle.

Two weeks Later

I notified we were pregnant. My HCG levels were in the 200's. In my previous two pregnancies I had never reached an HCG level above 120. This babe was ready.

Sept - March 

I had a very healthy, very active pregnancy. I was working full time, had a 1 year old at home, and constantly complimented on how much I was able to do in terms of strength training and sprinting, as well as at work and home.

March 27

Randomly when I was 27 weeks pregnant my water broke. We will never have an explanation why.

March 27- May 3rd

I lived in the hospital on bed rest. My temp was checked 6 times a day for infection, Beau's heart beat was checked 2x a day on the monitor, and we had 2 ultrasounds a week to check he was ok and my amniotic fluid wasn't going below a 2. When my water broke I lost almost all of my fluid - he hovered at a 4 but every time I moved I leaked more fluid.

April and May

When my water broke I was told Beau would be in the NICU no matter what and I would need a c-section because of his position. I desperately didn't want to recover from a c-section and convinced a high risk DR to try a version to flip him. They would only agree if we tried to version on the operating room table after I had a full spinal tap.

May 3rd 

Above all odds - I managed to stay pregnant until Beau had to be delivered at 34 weeks. At this point the risk of infection becomes too high. This was such a different experience from my first birth. I remember being in my hospital bed doing my hair for the first time in months.

May 3rd

We prepped for a c-section (just in case), performed a spinal tap, and started the version. Two full grown med manually tried to flip Beau for 45 minutes. While i was completely numb this is the closest I've ever seen kent to voming.

Unfortunately the version wasn't successful. 

May 3rd 1 PM

we moved onto the c-section.  24+ people were in the operating room for Beaus birth between Kent, The high risk delivery team, my OB, and the NICU team. Because I had been in the hospital so long I was also really close with the residents on my floor. They all came to cheer us on.

The c-section itself was so quick. I was able to touch Beau for a second before the NICU team took over and he was rushed downstairs. Kent followed and I was sewn back up.

May 3rd - June 4th

Perhaps the weirdest time. I was able to go home after 4 days while Beau stayed in the NICU. I entered the hospital in some of the best shape of my life - I left in a wheelchair in by far the worst.

Going home after all that time to re-bond with Bailey, try to heal, and navigate having a baby in the NICU was some of the most emotional times of my life. I spent the days in the NICU with Beau and the nights at home with Bailey. For anyone else who has had to leave their baby in the hospital - there is no feeling like it.

May 3rd - June

Physically I was extremely weak, swollen, and oh so frustrated. My body felt like a different persons. I was desperately trying to pump 9 times a day to feed my preemie. In addition while I was sitting in the NICU during the weeks Beau was there I passed 4 fist sized blood clots. I remember starring at them in the hospital bathroom, wrapping them in a paper towel and showing them to the NICU nurses. I kept promptly being whisked upstairs to the ICU where no one could figure out why I was passing them.

Summer 2019

Eventually our little Beau grew, thrived, and came home. Physically I continued to improve but emotionally was so down on myself. After my first pregnancy I was able to truly bounce back. I lost all my baby weight within a month of delivery and was running a week after my daughter was born. NOT the case this time. Not only did I have ab separation, was out of shape, but physically looked and felt like someone I didn't know.

This experience caused me to reach out for all the support I could get in the postpartum world from personal trainers, to pelvic floor drs. to acupuncturists. It was insanely hard, painful work, but by four months of training I was able to start feeling like myself again. The experience changed me forever. It taught me how much was needed to support women in the postnatal space and how much was needed.

I tell you this story because if you have been through a tough pregnancy, c-section, or are struggling to feel like yourself postpartum I want you to know I have been there and there is light on the other side. There are effective ways to get to where you need to go safely. You have been through a truly amazing experience. You can feel and love yourself again.